All I want for Mother’s Day is not be a mom…for a couple of hours.
Seriously, though! Can someone please get the message out there?! Or am I alone here? I want my Mother’s Day gift to just be a dang break from being a mom! Someone please, tell my husband, for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT GET ME FLOWERS OR A CARD! I don’t want to have to deal with finding a vase, then watering the flowers, cutting the stems, then adding their weird flower food, picking up their petals when they fall on the counter and then eventually throwing the whole thing out because they remind me of death and the water got gross and moldy. That is just more work for me, the MOTHER! Plus, for goodness sakes how long am I supposed to save a card?! A week, 6 months, a year?? Forever?? No thank you, I have enough clutter. And please, oh please, no messy trays of food near my nice clean sheets (okay, somewhat clean sheets…). Instead, what sounds nice is a day without cooking, cleaning, or changing diapers. Throw a little day drinking and watching Chris Pratt defend the galaxy in Avengers: Infinity War (Or Hemsworth, or Evans, or Hey! Scarlett Johansson, whoever you fancy!) in there, and I am a happy mama.
I mean, Mother’s Day is suppose to be about honoring mothers, right? So what better way to honor all my hard work than to give me a break from it? That is why I told my husband no to getting me a gift. I don’t want a gift, I want a Saturday night date night, with him (and Chris Pratt), where I get to drink good beer, hold my husband’s bu–er–hand, and have a conversation with him about anything other than how much Theo ate at lunch and that he had a really huge poo afterward (seriously, you should have seen it, must’ve been two pounds).
Then of course I will come home from my “momcation” so I can smother my son and step-daughter in kisses and hugs and tell them how my life is absolutely perfect because I get to be their mom and step-mom. Then, when Sunday rolls around, I may accept a delicious french toast brunch with copious amounts of coffee and syrupy smooches from my baby. The great thing about Mother’s Day is you can make it a two part event. Saturday mom gets her break, and Sunday mom gets extra hugs and love from her family!
And okay, okay, a homemade card does sound pretty adorable…and I guess I wouldn’t mind some flowers if they were specifically picked for me from my kids.
By Julia Hernandez
Do any of you fellow moms relate? What is your ideal Mother’s Day?
As always, please be kind, respectful, helpful, and spread cheer!